Tech Support

> >Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

> >Female customer: A white one…

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

> >Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

> >Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

> >Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

> >Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn't inserted it yet… it's

> >still on my desk… sorry….

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the

> >screen.

> >Customer: Your left or my left?

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

> >Male customer: Hello… I can't print.

> >Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and…

> >Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not

> >Bill Gates.

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every

> >time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and

> >placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't

> >find it…

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Customer: I have problems printing in red…

> >Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

> >Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

> >Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

> >Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

> >Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

> >Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

> >Customer:! OK

> >Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

> >Customer: Yes

> >Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there

> >another keyboard?

> >Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah…that one does work…

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a

> >capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.

> >Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Customer: can't get on the Internet.

> >Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

> >Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

> >Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

> >Customer: Five stars.

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

> >Customer: Netscape.

> >Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

> >Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen

> >saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >Tech support: How may I help you?

> >Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

> >Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

> >Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I

> >get the circle around it?

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her

> >printer.

> >Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

> >Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good

> >point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his

> >printer is working fine."

> >

> > ===============

> >

> >And last but not least…

> >

> >Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at

> >the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

> >Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

> >Customer: I don't have a P.

> >Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

> >Customer: What do you mean?

> >Tech support: "P"…..on your keyboard, Bob.

> >Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!